What War Does
by Dallas Lover734
Summary: Sorry for any mistakes this story may have, because my computer has been messing everything up these days. This is just to get over writters block. No flames please, but I will take advice on the story or ideas. WARNING: CHILD ABUSE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE
1. Chapter 1

1I missed Soda. He's been at war for a few months now. He stopped sending me mail back. I keep sending but I'm not sure if he gets it. Darry and I haven't gotten any better. Just worse. He actually started hitting me. But I've gotten used to it.

I went through the fridge and found only beer. No food. I opened a cupboard, only pills and drugs. I felt something explode in my heart. I don't care how much Darry hates me. I still love him. I don't want him to die. So I grabbed most of the beers and some really strong bottles of pills, and ran to the bathroom. I dumped all the contents of the beer bottles into the toilet and flushed. I did the same thing with the pills and drugs. I knew Darry was going to be mad, but I didn't care. I just didn't want him to get hurt.

The door flew open with a bang. I jumped up and locked the bathroom door. I waited to see who it was. Just someone from our gang that's all. I knew it was Darry because he would usually call for me. I opened the door and slipped out, and quickly dumped the empty bottles and containers into the trashbag.

"Hey kid." I turned and saw Steve. He's been a mess since Soda left. I mean Soda was his best buddy, and knowing that he could die at any second was probably killing him, as much as it was killing me.

"Hi Steve." We've gotten closer since Soda left. But I haven't told him or anyone else, even Johnny, about Darry. I've just been making up stupid excuses.

He studied my face, and probably noticed that I had a swollen cheek and a cut on my neck. Plus I must smell like beer and all that other shit.

"What happened to your face, Pony?" I sighed. I thought quickly and racked my brain for an excuse.

"I got jumped by some guys yesterday." He gave me a skeptical look.

"That's what you told me the other day." I felt my skin drain of all color. Damn, I don't want him to know. Darry will kill me if anyone knew.

"Well, ever since what happened they've gotten worse." Maybe he would take that. I felt his strong arm come down on to my shoulder as I washed the dishes. He turned me away slowly to look at him.

"Ponyboy you need to tell me if something is going here." He gave me a desperate look. He knew what was going on. He just needed me to tell him.

"I know Steve. And if anything was wrong, I would tell you." I hated lying to all of them. He gave me another desperate look, and then nodded his head and sat down in front of the T.V.

I finished washing the dishes, and started making dinner. I hated that it was summer. I couldn't escape Darry anymore by going to school or going to the library as an excuse to get away and study.

I heard Darry's car. Of course the gang knew about him drinking, but they thought he was just coping. They were nervous at first, but then they got over it, and noticed that he still acted the same. Only Steve and Dally seemed to see right through him. Plus they come over here all the time since summer started.

Darry came in. I gulped, but then realized that Steve was still here, so he wouldn't full out hit me in front of him right?

"Hey Steve. Ponyboy." He put a hard hand on my shoulder and squeezed hard. He chuckled softly when he saw me wince. The bell on the oven rang, and he took out the pizza, put it down and opened the fridge. Oh God.

Something registered on his face. He noticed that only three bottles where left in the fridge. He stood up straight and gave me a look of knowing. His eyes said We'll talk about this later.

Translation? Your dead kid.

I turned my head away, and started taking plates out. We only had a few since Darry loved to start smashing everything delicate in the house. Like me, I thought.

Dally showed up later, and ended up staying the whole night, which made me breath easier. That way Darry couldn't get to me.

But tomorrow was going to suck.

I watched as some black hoods ran down the street, running with guns, and money. Obviously the robbed some store. I sighed, wondering what had happened to this world. Everyone thinking that it's okay to be a hood and to be tough. But nobody looked at the bigger picture.

"Pony!" I flinched, thinking that it was Darry, but saw Johnny. Thank God.

"What's up Johnny?" I have to squint to look up at him, because it's so sunny out.

"Not much, you?" He sits down next to me on the porch, and eyes the cut healing on my neck.

"Not much either. How's your dad?" I can't stand Johnny's dad. Always beating him. But Darry does the same thing to me. But I don't hate him. Now I know how Johnny as felt for the last ten years.

"Same as always. What about Darry?" My eyes widened slightly, but I covered it up.

"Fine, why?" Johnny takes a deep breath.

"I'm just gonna come out and say it. Pony the gang and I have been talking, and we aren't buying any of your excuses about getting jumped, or falling. Those are some serious injuries, and- we think it's Darry." My face paled, and I looked away from Johnny. I felt tears stinging my eyes, because I was sick of lying to them.

"Pony? You have to tell us if something is going on, okay?" God I I had a quarter for every time someone told me that.

I'm not really sure what happened next. I heard the police's guns go off, giving the hoodlums a chance to stop. Hearing Darry yelling inside my head, sore from everything, missing Soda. Something popped like a balloon inside my heart, and I burst into tears.

Johnny looked at me startled, and pulled me into an embrace. I could tell that this was an awkward moment for him.

"Golly, I'm sorry if I upset you Pony. I just need to know what's going on." I buried my face into his shoulder and took three deep, long breaths, while Johnny rubbed my back and quieted my sobs.

"Yes." I gave up. I was sick of lying. Johnny gave me a look.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, it's Darry. Yes he's been the one doing this. I'm sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

1 Okay, so I got some awesome reviews from so people on this story. This chapter is dedicated to:

PimmyJalmer

debster35

Tim Shepard's Gurl

biushi

And I actually have a storyline for this story, so I'll continue it. Enjoy!

Johnny stayed with me for awhile after that. He really is a great friend. Plus he knows how I feel.

The bright sunlight was soon covered by dark, stormy clouds. Thunderstorm. I hate thunderstorms. They always make me feel bad, and my nightmares are ten times worse. Darry hates my nightmares. I gulped looking up at the dark sky. It cast an eery light on everything.

We went inside, afraid that it would start raining. Johnny and I didn't talk. We just sat there. But he kept an arm around my shoulder, and I leaned against him, looking for support. Johnny didn't even flinch when he heard Darry's car door open and shut. I sure as hell jumped and crawled closer to Johnny, wanting him to protect me.

"Pony-" Darry started screaming, until he noticed Johnny and I sitting on the couch together.

"Hi Johnny. Ponyboy." Johnny just narrowed his eyes and gave a quick, bitter hi back. Darry looked a little confused, then gave me a knowing look. I hid my face behind Johnny's torso. He didn't notice.

Darry did nothing but sit at the dinning room table, drinking beer, and shooting me death glares. I whimpered once, and Johnny noticed, but didn't say anything. He just looked at Darry.

"Johnny, I don't mean to be rude, but I need to talk to Ponyboy alone for awhile now. You can come back tomorrow if you want. Plus it's getting late." I looked at the clock. It was kinda late. Ten at night. Must not of noticed.

Johnny looked at me, wanting me to decide for him.

"It's alright Johnny. It's just Darry." I tried to make it sound like a joke, so Darry wouldn't think that I sold him out. Johnny nodded, going along with my plan, and left.

"You little shit, what did you tell him?" Darry picked me up by my collar and shook me.

"Nothing Darry!" Bad lie. I can lie to anyone but my brothers.

"Don't lie to me!" He smacked me so hard I forced myself not to black out.

"Darry... please.. I.. It's just that.." I couldn't finish. My head was spinning to much.

"What ever." He threw me away from him, and my entire body crashed into the wall. I sunk down to the ground, holding my bleeding cheek.

"Just go t bed, I can't even look at you any more." I nodded, and ran upstairs.

I slipped on one of Darry's old, too big, T-shirts. Then I pulled on Soda's old pajama pants. The shirt smelled like Darry before he started drinking and all that crap.

I crawled into bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I wanted to cry, but I just couldn't. All the tears where gone. I kept the thin sheet over my head, and closed my eyes, and tried to sleep.

"What the hell!" My eyes shot open. I noticed that I had been screaming. No not again.

I threw my sheet off of me, and got up to lock the door, but Darry got there first.

"What did I tell you last? Your fifteen. You shouldn't be having nightmares! How old are you? Five?" He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to the back door.

"You want to scream and cry like a baby, then stay out here!" He threw me on the porch, and locked the door behind him.

The rain was freezing and went right through my clothes. I took a deep breath, and decided to walk to Two-bit's knowing Johnny had probably told him, so it would be easier for him to let me sleep there. Even though Two-bit's house is about five miles away, and I didn't have any shoes on, and it's raining. But I didn't know where else to go.

I started walking. I looked over at Johnny's. His parents where arguing. I guess Johnny must of found another place to crash.

I'll probably have a cold for a week after this. My clothes where soaked through so bad, I was shaking. I hugged myself for warmth. I could still here Mr. Cade yelling at his wife all the way down the street.

I heard tires behind me and realized that I was being followed. Great, Socs! Just what I need.

I heard the car pull over, and I broke out in a run. The door slammed, and I ran faster.

"Wait! Ponyboy!" That voice. So familiar, my heart ached. I spun around, and saw the answer to my problems.

"Soda!"


	3. Chapter 3

1 Okay, so sorry if at the beginning of each story is a one. I have no idea what that's about. And I'm sorry for Darry fans. I actually love Darry too, I just thought that it would be a good story idea. But trust me, Darry does get better later in the story. So no worries to all Darry fans. But for now, just put up with him being the bad guy.

"Soda!" I saw his handsome face, and thought I was going to faint. Yes finally, someone who can help Darry.

I took off at full speed towards him, and jumped into his already opened arms. I started crying, and he did too.

"Pony, why are you walking around, in your pajamas, while it's raining?" Soda wiped his tears, and helped me into the car next to him.

"I... Soda things have kinda changed." I couldn't lie to Soda. Not him. But I didn't want to tell him what was going on yet. It would kill him.

"I figured. You grew up some. Johnny get any taller?" He tried making a joke, mostly because Johnny's always so sick of being so small.

"Only a little. You look different too." He did. He had a white scar on his neck, and his hair had grown longer, and changed to a dark blond. But his brown eyes still danced with joy.

"So how's Darry?" Soda kept his eyes on the road, but I knew he was worried. Darry loved Soda, and Soda knew it must of gotten to Darry when he left.

"He... changed. He's missed you a lot Soda." That was the truth. Just not the full truth.

"Oh. I've missed you two so much. Why did you stop sending letters?" His voice seemed hurt.

"I... well, why did you stop sending yours?"

"You stopped sending me letters. I just thought you needed a break or something." He didn't sound mad. Just confused.

"That's what I thought about you." He nodded. But then he turned to me and gave me one of those famous smiles.

"Lets get home little colt." I smiled at the old nickname.

I was worried to go home though. Darry won't be happy that I'm back. But he'll be happy about Soda. So he'll let me slide probably, right?

"Come on Pony." I had spaced out for a second. I un buckled myself, and got out of the car.

I held Soda's hand, and carried one of his bags, which would of been light for me, but since of my new living environments, I had become weak.

Soda knocked on the door. The door flew open, and there stood a very angry looking Darry. He probably thought that it was me.

His face crumbled, and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Soda? Little buddy?" He opened the door and came onto the porch with us.

"Hey Darry." His eyes where filled with tears too.

Darry wrapped his big arms around Soda, and Soda hugged him back. Darry looked at me over Soda's shoulder, and mouthed at me to bring his bags inside. I nodded, and picked up the bags.

"Pony, what are you doing?" I heard Soda's voice behind me. I stopped and turned around.

"I'm just bringing in your bags." Soda had let go of Darry momentarily to look at me.

"You goof, I can do that. Come here." He opened his arms, and I put the bags down and ran into them. Darry rubbed my head a little too hard and kept his arm around Soda.

"Come on, lets get in before we all catch a cold." Soda slung his arm over my shoulder, and Darry followed us.

We helped Soda un pack his stuff in the room we share together, and then we all had chocolate milk, and told him everything that he's been missing.

I think he noticed something was up though, when Darry took out a beer.

"It's alright Soda, he just started liking it. He's still the same." I mentally kicked myself for lying to him. Why did I lie?

Soda nodded his head in understanding, and took another sip of his milk. My eyes started closing, and then...

"Pony!" I shook my head and looked at a frightened Soda.

"What? What is it Soda?" His eyes were filled with worry and concern. Darry turned around, sensing a problem.

"Your... your cheek! What the hell happened?!" Just like Soda to notice an hour later after he already saw me.

"I... I fell. No big deal Soda." I winced as I lied to Soda. Again.

Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Soda jumped out of his seat and to the phone.

Darry took the seat across from me, and looked at me like I had just killed his dog or something. He really does hate me.

I looked over at Soda, who had worry, confusion, and anger written all over his face. I wondered who he was talking to. But when he hung up the phone, and looked at Darry, I knew that he knew what was going on. I sunk a little lower in my chair, and played with my hands.

"Ponyboy, can you go up to your room? I need to talk Darry alone for awhile." I nodded, leaving Darry and Soda to talk.

The first thing I did when I was in my room, was strip out of all my wet clothes, and slipped into something warmer. Than I crawled into my bed, pulling the sheets over my head, and curled up into a ball.

I could hardly hear them talking. But I could hear Soda's voice. It was filled with anger and edge.

I fell asleep too it though. It was great to hear his voice again.

I woke up to loud foot steps coming towards my room.

Oh no I dreamed everything about Soda, I thought.

But that thought was erased when Soda came in with his bags.

"Ponyboy, get your things." He opened my draws and started shoving my stuff into two duffel bags.

"Why?"

"Please... come on Pony." Soda just kept shoving my stuff into the bags.

"But just tell me why Sodapop." He turned to me and gave me a sad look. And angry.

"We're not living with a child abuser."


	4. Chapter 4

1 "Soda-" I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to change Darry. Not leave him behind.

"No Pony. Come on. Please don't argue with me." I looked down and slipped my boots on. I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I held them in. I let out a shivering sigh, and stuffed Gone With The Wind in my bag.

"Soda please, don't leave, I didn't mean too-" I heard Darry trying to talk Soda out of leaving. I stepped out of my bedroom and saw a very desperate looking Darry trying to talk to a very angry Soda.

"Didn't mean to what? Beat Ponyboy! Your fucking out of your mind!" I don't think I ever heard Soda swear or yell like that before. But I never thought Darry would beat.

"I'm sorry Soda, I just couldn't take you not being here, so I-" Soda refused to listen.

"So you what? Beat Pony! Did it ever cross your mind that he was going through the same thing as you? That he could of helped you? And don't tell me your sorry, tell him that." An awkward silence settled on us. Darry opened his mouth to speak again, but Soda shook his head, grabbed my hand and his bags and dragged me out the door.

I was sobbing at that point. I didn't want to leave Darry. I didn't hate him. I knew he had just changed because of Soda. And that he would and could get better.

But Soda asked him to say sorry to you, and he didn't, a thought nagged in the back of my head.

Shut up.

I let that linger on my mind for a minute. Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe I had been right before. That Darry always thought that I was another mouth to feed. That he would of gotten rid of me, but Soda wouldn't let him.

Stop. Don't think. Don't think. Just... just...

It took me a minute to realize that I was in Soda's car. I stretched myself out on the backseat, and tried to put my mind to rest.

"Where do we go, where do we go." I heard Soda muttering to himself in the drivers seat.

"Soda?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you find out?"

"That phone call. It was Steve. He told me what was going on." Steve. Of course.

"Pony, why didn't you ever tell me in your letters? I would of come home the minute I found out? And why didn't you tell any of the gang till today? You know that they would of helped." I sat up and crawled into shotgun.

"I... well Darry said he would of been really mad if I told anyone. And you wouldn't of been able to come home. You were in the middle of war. And I know that they would of helped. But Darry..." I stopped and let Soda finish.

"Would of been mad. Damn him." He muttered the last part to himself.

"You know that I love you, right little colt?" He pulled the car in front of some old motel.

"Yeah. I love you too Soda." He nodded, and hugged me. And my natural instinct was to flinch away.

"Oh sorry Pone." I shook my head.

"It's alright." I wanted to ask him what we should do. Are we really gonna live here? Or can we please just go back to Darry? But I held it in, knowing fully how tired we both were.

I stood in a daze next to Soda who checked us in, and then he led me to a motel room, with two beds, a kitchen and one bathroom. Reminded me of our house, only smaller.

I crawled into one of the big beds, and fell asleep. About an hour later I heard Soda talking on the phone with Steve.

"Steve, I don't know what to do. His cheek is completely blue and black, and swollen. So who told you?" He was sobbing. I hated it when Soda cried.

"Johnny? Makes sense. Those two are so close. Did you guys ever notice his bruises?"

"Yeah. I think he still loves Darry. Like he never wanted anyone to find out that he was being hurt. Close to killed." I heard him answer some of Steve's questions, then he got all excited.

"Really!? Steve are you sure that your dad would be okay with it?" It was a moments silence, before he said something again.

"Thank you Stevie, thank you so much! This place gives me the creeps. I can't believe Pony already fell asleep." He laughed at something Steve said then said a goodbye and hung up the phone.

"Hey, Pony. Baby wake up." He shook me softly and I opened my eyes, pretending like I had heard nothing.

"Honey we're leaving. You can sleep on the way to Steve's house. His dad is out for the week, and Steve sais we could bunk together." I sat up and smiled.

We packed our stuff quickly and took off to Steve's.

Soda and him had their reunion. They hugged and then talked. I sear, I thought they both where going to cry. But they held it in and talked about what each of them had been missing.

I fell asleep on the couch.

Of course, I can ever get a good night's sleep. Someone was banging at the door.

"What the hell! We don't want you here!" Soda. Oh no.

"Yeah well, I'm the older brother and I get to be here!" Darry. Oh no.

"Yeah well this is my house asshole, so get out!" Steve. Oh no. I kept my eyes shut, and pulled the blanket that Steve had gotten for me over my head.

"I need to talk to Ponyboy." Darry. He sounded desperate.

"Talk to him, or beat him?" Soda's voice cracked a little at the beat.

"I just want to talk to him." He sounded like he was gonna cry.

"Well he's asleep." Someone sat down next to me, because I felt the couch sink a little under me.

"Don't touch him!" Soda's voice cried out with anger.

"Fine. I'll just stay here till he wakes up." Darry sounded so sure of himself. Wait till they got Dally over here.

I decided I should wake up and get whatever he wanted over with. I opened my eyes slowly- I'm a pretty good actor- and sat up rubbing my eyes.

"What's going on?" Everyone's head turned towards me.

"Hi Pony." Darry looked at the ground. I scooted myself towards the end of the couch putting as much distance as I could between us.

"I'm sorry Pony." All the thoughts racing through my head. I looked in his eyes. He didn't look sorry. They weren't begging me to come back. They were begging Soda to come back. I took a deep breath.

"I don't forgive you."


	5. Chapter 5

1 "Soda-" I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to change Darry. Not leave him behind.

"No Pony. Come on. Please don't argue with me." I looked down and slipped my boots on. I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I held them in. I let out a shivering sigh, and stuffed Gone With The Wind in my bag.

"Soda please, don't leave, I didn't mean too-" I heard Darry trying to talk Soda out of leaving. I stepped out of my bedroom and saw a very desperate looking Darry trying to talk to a very angry Soda.

"Didn't mean to what? Beat Ponyboy! Your fucking out of your mind!" I don't think I ever heard Soda swear or yell like that before. But I never thought Darry would beat.

"I'm sorry Soda, I just couldn't take you not being here, so I-" Soda refused to listen.

"So you what? Beat Pony! Did it ever cross your mind that he was going through the same thing as you? That he could of helped you? And don't tell me your sorry, tell him that." An awkward silence settled on us. Darry opened his mouth to speak again, but Soda shook his head, grabbed my hand and his bags and dragged me out the door.

I was sobbing at that point. I didn't want to leave Darry. I didn't hate him. I knew he had just changed because of Soda. And that he would and could get better.

But Soda asked him to say sorry to you, and he didn't, a thought nagged in the back of my head.

Shut up.

I let that linger on my mind for a minute. Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe I had been right before. That Darry always thought that I was another mouth to feed. That he would of gotten rid of me, but Soda wouldn't let him.

Stop. Don't think. Don't think. Just... just...

It took me a minute to realize that I was in Soda's car. I stretched myself out on the backseat, and tried to put my mind to rest.

"Where do we go, where do we go." I heard Soda muttering to himself in the drivers seat.

"Soda?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you find out?"

"That phone call. It was Steve. He told me what was going on." Steve. Of course.

"Pony, why didn't you ever tell me in your letters? I would of come home the minute I found out? And why didn't you tell any of the gang till today? You know that they would of helped." I sat up and crawled into shotgun.

"I... well Darry said he would of been really mad if I told anyone. And you wouldn't of been able to come home. You were in the middle of war. And I know that they would of helped. But Darry..." I stopped and let Soda finish.

"Would of been mad. Damn him." He muttered the last part to himself.

"You know that I love you, right little colt?" He pulled the car in front of some old motel.

"Yeah. I love you too Soda." He nodded, and hugged me. And my natural instinct was to flinch away.

"Oh sorry Pone." I shook my head.

"It's alright." I wanted to ask him what we should do. Are we really gonna live here? Or can we please just go back to Darry? But I held it in, knowing fully how tired we both were.

I stood in a daze next to Soda who checked us in, and then he led me to a motel room, with two beds, a kitchen and one bathroom. Reminded me of our house, only smaller.

I crawled into one of the big beds, and fell asleep. About an hour later I heard Soda talking on the phone with Steve.

"Steve, I don't know what to do. His cheek is completely blue and black, and swollen. So who told you?" He was sobbing. I hated it when Soda cried.

"Johnny? Makes sense. Those two are so close. Did you guys ever notice his bruises?"

"Yeah. I think he still loves Darry. Like he never wanted anyone to find out that he was being hurt. Close to killed." I heard him answer some of Steve's questions, then he got all excited.

"Really!? Steve are you sure that your dad would be okay with it?" It was a moments silence, before he said something again.

"Thank you Stevie, thank you so much! This place gives me the creeps. I can't believe Pony already fell asleep." He laughed at something Steve said then said a goodbye and hung up the phone.

"Hey, Pony. Baby wake up." He shook me softly and I opened my eyes, pretending like I had heard nothing.

"Honey we're leaving. You can sleep on the way to Steve's house. His dad is out for the week, and Steve sais we could bunk together." I sat up and smiled.

We packed our stuff quickly and took off to Steve's.

Soda and him had their reunion. They hugged and then talked. I sear, I thought they both where going to cry. But they held it in and talked about what each of them had been missing.

I fell asleep on the couch.

Of course, I can ever get a good night's sleep. Someone was banging at the door.

"What the hell! We don't want you here!" Soda. Oh no.

"Yeah well, I'm the older brother and I get to be here!" Darry. Oh no.

"Yeah well this is my house asshole, so get out!" Steve. Oh no. I kept my eyes shut, and pulled the blanket that Steve had gotten for me over my head.

"I need to talk to Ponyboy." Darry. He sounded desperate.

"Talk to him, or beat him?" Soda's voice cracked a little at the beat.

"I just want to talk to him." He sounded like he was gonna cry.

"Well he's asleep." Someone sat down next to me, because I felt the couch sink a little under me.

"Don't touch him!" Soda's voice cried out with anger.

"Fine. I'll just stay here till he wakes up." Darry sounded so sure of himself. Wait till they got Dally over here.

I decided I should wake up and get whatever he wanted over with. I opened my eyes slowly- I'm a pretty good actor- and sat up rubbing my eyes.

"What's going on?" Everyone's head turned towards me.

"Hi Pony." Darry looked at the ground. I scooted myself towards the end of the couch putting as much distance as I could between us.

"I'm sorry Pony." All the thoughts racing through my head. I looked in his eyes. He didn't look sorry. They weren't begging me to come back. They were begging Soda to come back. I took a deep breath.

"I don't forgive you."


	6. Author's Note

1Author's Note

This isn't going to become a Soda/Sandy story. But it is an important plotline in the story, and it will al make sense later. Just wanted to clear things up for you.


	7. Chapter 7

1 Darry pulled back a little, surprised at how bitter my voice sounded. I saw Soda and Steve's expressions. They didn't look surprised. They were backing me up. I got up and walked upstairs. I've been in Steve's house before, and knew where his room was, so I went in and sunk down on his bed.

My attention caught onto a picture. It was a picture of the gang and my parents, before they died. I remembered that day. It was so hot out. Dally was actually happy that day. Mom even got him to smile for the picture. We were all sitting outside, on our porch. I was sitting between Johnny and Dally in the first row. Steve and Soda sat behind us, ginning like fools. Mom, dad, and Darry sat in the back smiling too.

We had tried selling lemonade that day.

Flashback

"Soda! What are you doing?" Darry was mad because Soda kept drinking the lemonade, instead of selling it. Well, couldn't blame him. He's only a ten going on eleven year old. Making money didn't matter to him at the time.

"Darry, I'm thirsty though!" No duh. Soda had done nothing but talk all day and run around like any other little kid. Darry seemed to think about it for a minute.

"Fine, but this is your last glass." Darry was such a pushover when he was fourteen.

What was I doing? I think I was- oh yeah I had been looking for Johnny. I knew that his parents had been beating him, and I wanted him to spend that day with my family and I. The whole gang was there but him. I just felt it was right to include him.

I met up with him in time. Right before we all decided to play football. I was on a team with Darry, Dally, and Johnny. Steve, Soda, and Two-bit made up the other team. Johnny and I were pretty small, so we got Dally and Darry with us.

"Ponyboy, just be careful alright? I don't want you getting hurt." Darry had actually cared for me back then.

"I'll be fine Darry." I tried to swear to him with all my eight-year-old innocence. He gave me one of his rare smiles and we started the game.

Of course I got hurt. Steve had 'accidently' ran into me, and I had fallen over and split my knee open. I didn't cry though. But I wanted to. I remembered that Darry had patched my knee up and then given me a big glass of chocolate milk to have while I cooled off.

"You alright, little colt?" Darry looked down at me, concerned.

"I'm fine." I tried smiling at him, just to make him feel better.

"Alright, but you tell me if you start to hurt again, alright?" I nodded.

We took the picture later, after mom had gotten home from work. She had gotten a raise that day, so she was beaming. It took us a little while to figure out were we should sit. Steve called sitting next to Soda immediately, of course. I didn't mind. I was just happy to be with everyone. And to have a family that loved me.

End of Flashback

I wish that family had stuck together. I sighed and put the picture down. Then, since Soda had left I buried my face in Steve's pillow and cried. And I mean full out sobbed. I had been holding it in for too long. Holding in my will to love Darry, who would never love me again, missing Soda, watch everything that I was getting back and creating, be torn from me in less than a year.

I guess they decided to give me some time to cool off. Good idea.

I sat up and wiped my face, trying to swallow my sobs that kept coming up, and the growing lump in my throat. I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked myself back and forth. Like I had done to comfort myself all those nights. All those nights after being beaten, after being screamed at.

I let out a long breath and laid down. Steve wouldn't mind if I slept on his bed tonight. After everything, he shouldn't.

I finally got a full nights sleep that night.

Sunlight pored through the window and on my face. I rubbed my eyes, and pulled the covers off of me. Soda or Steve must of come in during the night and thrown the blankets on me. I smiled at that. It was just gonna take some time to get used to feeling loved again.

I tip toed downstairs, thinking that Darry would hit me out of nowhere.

"Steve, what do I do?"

"Give... I don't know. Maybe it would be okay to live with Darry again, now that you're here."

"Yeah. But I don't trust him any more. Not after what happened."

"You want to talk about something else don't you? Something's bugging you besides this, right?"

"God, Steve it's like you see right through me."

"Soda. What's wrong."

"Sandy called."

"That little bitch." I had to stifle a laugh at that. I peered over the railing a little more to see them sitting on the couch together.

"She told me something." I grew pale. Don't let it be what I think. Please, please.

"Wha- what Soda?" Steve probably knew what was coming too.

"She's pregnant. With my baby."

OMG, I'm so sorry. I guess I didn't realize that I added chapter four twice. How stupid of me. Sorry. But here is the real chapter five. And the author's note will make sense.


	8. Chapter 8

1I inhaled sharply, then tried to cover my shock, Soda, a dad? But wait. That can't be possible.

"Soda, when did you last see Sandy?" Steve probably knew what I was thinking.

"To be honest, after the war ended, I went to go see her. Just wanted to see her one last time... and we... well you know what happened after that." Noooooooooo. Not after I just got him back. I don't want to loose him again.

"You can't leave Pony, Soda. You know how much that would hurt him. After everything with Darry." Wow. Before all this happened, and I had heard Steve defending me like that, I thought he would of been having an aneurism or something. But he did that a lot more now.

"I know, I know. Right now I got to focus on him. Fix him and then maybe Darry. But I don't even want to look at Darry's face right now. At all." I knew how he felt. I didn't want to either.

"Soda?"

"Hmm?"

"What if Darry comes back, to you know, take Pony away?" My heart caught in my throat. Darry did have every right to do that. After all, he is my legal guardian.

"Over my dead body."

"But what if he did?"

"Just lock the doors or something Steve. God I don't know!"

"Sorry."

"No. It's not your fault. I just never thought that my older brother would beat my baby brother. Never in a million years." I had thought that too. Well, that sure changed fast.

The phone rang off in a distance. I walked down the stairs, pretending as if I had never heard a thing.

"Morning, baby." Soda got up and hugged me. I wanted to hug back, but my body went into panic mode.

"Sorry, pony. I just keep forgetting."

"Your starting to act like Two-bit."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Depends on how you look at it." He laughed at my joke. He brought me breakfast while I sat on the couch in front of the T.V. watching Mickey Mouse. I picked at the food, not really eating it. I had lost my appetite after not being able to eat full meals because of Darry's lack of money.

"You gonna eat at all?" Soda's voice rang in my ears.

"Not hungry." Soda nodded and took the remains of my food.

"Yeah okay, we'll be there in a few minutes." Steve's face was covered with worry while he talked on the phone. I felt my face pale. My stomach gave a few funny flips. Something was telling me that something was deeply wrong.

He hung up and looked at us.

"Johnny's parents went to far this time." I sprang up from the couch and ran upstairs to clean myself up and get dressed in the clothes that I had packed.

Dally had called Steve from the hospital, telling him what had happened. Dally and Two-bit had found Johnny laying half-dead in the lot (for the second time in his life) bleeding. Johnny had told them that his dad had gotten really angry at him this time, for something he did. Dally said that he had looked worse than he did the day they had found him after the Socs.

So they brought him to the hospital, since this was more serious. As we drove past Johnny's house I saw police cars parked outside his house and police men searching his house. I guess Dally finally spilled his guts to the police about Johnny's sick parents.

When we got there, I ran as fast as I could to the building, and then to the elevator, Soda and Steve right behind me. We stood in the elevator, complete silence encasing us in heartbroken pain. My mind was racing. What did Johnny look like? Did he get another scar from his horrid parents? Will he be even more scared? Where will he live?

The elevator stopped on the third floor. We walked out, Steve leading. Dally had told him the room number. But that didn't matter since then we saw Two-bit and Dally sitting in silence. Two-bit's eyes looked dark with sadness and fear. Dally actually looked concerned. Like really worried. The expression on his face pained me. Maybe this is why dally never showed his feelings. Because he looked almost as scared as Johnny always did. And now, me.

"Hey guys." They both turned their heads towards us. They gave us brief acknowledgment. We sat down with them and waited in silence, hoping he was alright.

Then the last person that we wanted to come through the door, came through.

Darry.


	9. Chapter 9

1 I froze up when I saw Darry. Soda looked at me funny, and then followed my gaze.

"God damn him." His voice was barely over a whisper, but the whole gang reacted to it quickly, and snapped their heads around. They all stood up, looking like they where ready to fight in a rumble. Might as well be one with Darry.

"Get the hell out of here Darry." Dally glared at him with his piercing blue eyes that could cut steel.

"That would be none of you're business Dally. So stay out of it." Dally looked a little startled that someone had talked back to is threat, but he covered it up, and moved forward to hit Darry. Two-bit grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him back. Dally glared at Two-bit and pulled himself out of his grasp.

Darry pushed them out of they, and towards me. My body went into hide mode, so I scrambled behind Steve, who was standing closest to me.

"Pony, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk to you." I didn't move. Neither did Steve.

"I don't trust you Darry. Why should I listen to you when you say that?" My eyes widened when I finished talking back to him. I heard Darry growing frustrated. His hand grabbed my shoulder, hard. But Steve shoved him hard, and Darry stumbled back, but he still had his hold on my shoulder.

"Darry-" Soda looked scared, but I was used to this.

"I'm his guardian by law. Goodbye." He pulled me along with him, but for some reason I felt some odd reason to fight back, I struggled away from his hold, but he grabbed me in a second and swatted me ear. It hurt like hell. Through my other ear I heard Dally shout, but he knew that he couldn't do anything. None of them could do anything. This was the law after all.

"If you had just forgiven me, none of this would of had to of happened. Why do have to be so selfish? And if you had kept your mouth shut, Soda would of never been hurt. But look what you did now! You never seem to do anything right!" He shoved me into the shotgun, and slammed the door. I held my throbbing ear.

"I'm sorry." I didn't want to say it. But I felt I had to. All of it was true. I did hurt Soda. If I had just never opened my mouth we would all be happy. Except for me. But I care way more about Soda, than about me.

"Whatever. All I want is Soda, and yet again, you ruin that. God, you always mess everything for me! And Soda! You mess up everyone's lives. You should stop being so selfish all the time, and think about other people!" I was use to his verbal abuse. But it hurt more than getting hit. Like I did really feel like a selfish screw up when he talked to me like this.

When we got home, he locked me in my room, and said he was to tired to deal with me, and that he would tomorrow.

Some how I woke up later in the day covered in my blood from Darry's beating. It had hurt way more then any of his other beatings. He obviously had had way more to drink this morning than before. I sat up and held my head, and heard screaming downstairs. Soda and Darry. And Steve.

I felt my ribs, and realized that two were broken. I got up slowly, and opened a draw in my desk. I had always kept a first aid kit there, just in case. I took my shirt off, and put alcohol on my open wounds, and wrapped me ribs with bandages. Then I cleaned my face, and checked my face in a mirror I had. A new bruise, like every other one.

Suddenly, something inside of me snapped.

Didn't I want to make it out of this town? I sat there thinking. My brain was racing in a hundred different directions. I changed into blood free clothes.

I looked in a loose floor board I had in my room, since I had started saving my money when I was little from my first lemonade stand. Then I had kept the money to buy Soda's horse Mickey Mouse for him.

I counted the money. I had always saved this, even when I was starving for food. I knew that Darry had used all my college money on beer and drugs. I wanted to go to college so bad. I counted out sixty dollars and seventy-nine cents.

I bit my lip and tried to think straight. I pushed myself back against the wall, and thought. Would I be doing the right thing? Should I say goodbye? How would they react? Would Darry ever care? No. He wouldn't. I closed my eyes and thought about how nice it would be to get out of Tulsa.

It was so clear to me. I was running away.

I had all my stuff packed. No one had bothered to check on me. They all thought I was resting probably. Actually Soda had come in after I had decided to leave. Made sure I was alright and then went downstairs.

Now, I couldn't just leave. They would think that Darry had done something to me. So I set my bag down, and took out my notebook and a pen. I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking of what I should say. It came to me after a while.

_Dear Family,_

_I know it's bad for me to leave like this. But I have to. If I stay here, I won't get anywhere in my life. I love you guys though. And even though I know I would of always had you guys, even with Darry abusing me, it isn't enough. You guys always told me that I had a future waiting for me. Well, it's not going to happen if I stay. I'm sorry. I really do love you guys. Oh, and when Johnny gets better, can you tell him that I'll be okay? And give him back his Gone With the Wind copy. Thanks._

_Love,_

_Ponyboy Curtis_

I felt tears gather up in my eyes while I signed my name. Then I put the letter down on the Gone With the Wind book. The same one I had left for Johnny while he was healing in the hospital.

Then I thought, Maybe I should go see him myself. Before I leave. I sighed, and picked up my bag. It was getting dark out. The sun was setting. I gulped and opened the window. It gave a squeak, but no one responded. So I opened it wider, and threw my bag to the ground. The ground wasn't that far away. Only like, ten feet. So climbed out fast, and jumped.

I looked through the window, and noticed that it was only Steve and Soda. Soda was asleep, but Steve was awake, reading the paper. I turned my head to the driveway and saw that Darry's car wasn't parked there. They probably drove him out to get more beer. Hot tears ran down my face, but I wiped them away quickly. Then I turned and ran towards the sunset, heading for the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

1 As I walked- well, ran to the hospital, I thought it over again. This whole thing. But I something was telling me that this was really wrong for me to stay here, and take Darry's abuse. I know that I'm gonna hurt Soda and the gang, but they will understand. Maybe.

I carried my duffel bag on my shoulder, hoping that no one would care if I had a bag or not. It wasn't filled with a whole lot of stuff, so it shouldn't cause any problems.

I hate hospitals. The fact that they just wheel people through hallways all day, and that they don't even cry if someone dies, well, I don't know. They just upset me.

I road the elevator up to Johnny's floor. I still remembered the room number, and the doctor let me in. Probably because he remembered the last time I visited Johnny.

Johnny looked even more innocent and defenseless laying on the hospital bed. He was almost as white as the sheets, and he just looked so small, I wanted to cry. But I took a deep breath, and sat next to him in an empty chair. He opened his brown eyes and looked up at me, and gave me a smile. Then I think he registered the fact that I had my duffel bag with me, was wearing Dally's too-big coat, and a baseball cap to hide my face.

"Pony, what are you doing?" Pure fear covered his face, and a wave of guilt washed over me.

"Johnny, I have to leave." I tried to sound brave about it. But my voice wavered a little.

"Pony-"

"Johnny, if I stay here, I will get nowhere. I want to have a real life. I don't want to take Darry's abuse any more. And you don't have to take your parents any more. But, it's hard to explain. But I feel like it's the right thing to do. And tell the gang that I'll call when I'm safe. And I'll try to stay in touch."

"But what if you get hurt? I don't think I would be able to handle it Pony, really." He looked scared. I could tell he was holding in tears.

"Johnny, I already have all this planned. I actually used my head this once, okay? And I promise that I'll call when I'm safe." He gave me a sad smiled, and then we hugged. I was really going to miss him. He was the only one who really got me.

"Bye Pony."

"Bye Johnny." Then I remembered that I could have given him Gone With the Wind now.

"Oh, and Johnny, you will have something to remember me by. Trust me." I ran out of there, not even waiting for Johnny's questions.

The sky was completely black by the time I got to the train station. Then I had think about where I wanted to go. I looked for the one with the closet time, so no one would come looking for me, in an hour or so.

The one I picked had three stops. It fist went to Kentucky, then Pennsylvania, and then Connecticut. I chose to stop in Connecticut. It was farthest away from Tulsa. The guy did ask if I had an adult with me. But he didn't seem to care. I just lied really well and told him that I was meeting a relative in Connecticut. He also didn't care when I gave him a pretty good tip, and the exact money for the train ride.

I only had to wait for five minutes before they called for my train. A37. Only a few other people where riding on the train too. The man at the entrance of the train said that there was a sleeping section, where everything was quiet. I chose that section.

I sat all the way in the back, and I noticed a few people give me a tired look, and sit in the front. Probably because I really did look like a runaway hood in my clothes. I shook of the aching in my heart, and watched as all of Tulsa pass me by in a few seconds. This was it. I'm gone.

I couldn't help but wonder if the gang had found my note fo them. Maybe. I had left it about an hour ago. Soda or Steve must of went upstairs to check on me. And found the book and the letter. I held back tears as I saw Soda's sad face flash around in my mind. I took in a big sigh, and tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat. I rested my head against the back of the seat, and let myself drift off into a dreamless sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

1 Soda's POV

It was getting really late and really dark. I decided to go check on Ponyboy.

"Hey Steve, if Darry comes back, just call me down. I need to go talk to Pony for a while." He nodded, understanding what I was going through. The whole gang was going through the same thing. Pony was everyone's little brother, and Darry was everyone's big brother. We never thought that Darry would abuse Pony.

I knocked on Pony's door, wondering if he was sleeping or not. No one answered. I shrugged and decided to open the door, and just tuck him into sleep. But what I saw took all the breath out of me in one fatal whoosh.

His bed was empty. The window was open, along with his draws, and desk lay empty. I sat down on the bed and tried to clear my thoughts. No, no, no. He couldn't of. He wouldn't. I felt something tapping my thigh softly, and saw Pony's Gone With the Wind book, and a letter. I opened the letter and read it carefully. It was his hand writing. At least he hadn't been kidnaped.

The letter bought tears to me eyes. He really did leave, and for all the right reasons. Tears streamed down my face. I need Pony. I need Pony. But right now, all I have is Steve.

"Steve! Steve!" My voice sounds far away but I'm really screaming. I slid from the bed and onto the floor, thinking and wondering if Pony was okay.

Steve came crashing through the door, panic written all over his face. He takes in what he sees and I wonder if that's what I looked like when I saw all of this.

"Oh my God. Soda." He sat down next to me and hugged me. But that didn't stop me from sobbing.

I'm not sure how long we sat there like that. I finally gave Steve the letter, and for one wild second, I thought he was going to cry. But he didn't. He held it in. Then we heard the door open downstairs, and Dally calling out.

Dally's POV

I came in, looking to talk to Pony. But no one was downstairs.

No duh Dally it's almost midnight. They're probably all sleeping.

I shook my thoughts away. If Pony was here, I wanted to talk to him. If not, I beat the crap out of Darry.

I knew what the kid was thinking. He wanted to leave. I didn't want him too. I didn't want it to be too late. But something was telling me that I was too late.

I heard faint sobs coming from upstairs. I raced up to Pony's room, and saw what I feared. The bed was empty. As where the draws, and his window was wide open. Steve sat on the floor, hugging a sobbing Soda. I sat down next to Soda, and rubbed his back awkwardly. What? I don't know how to do this stuff.

Steve handed me a letter. Pony's hand writing. I read the letter over and over, not wanting it to be true. But it is. Suddenly, hate takes over panic. This is Darry's fault. All. His. Fault. And I know that he's probably drinking at Bucks too. The place is usually quiet on a Tuesday night, but Darry loves beer.

"I'll be back." Steve gave me a look telling me not to go to far. I just rolled my eyes, got up, and drove to Buck's.

I do care about the gang. Especially Johnny and Pony. So right now, kicking Darry's ass made sense to me.

I walked into Buck's, and low and behold, there sat Darry gulping what was probably his third beer. I gritted me teeth, and walked right up to him.

"You know where Pony is?" I wanted to know if he forced the kid out, and that the letter meant nothing.

"Why should I give a damn where the kid runs off too?" Anger boiled through me. He use to really love Pony too. What the hell happened?

"Because he's your little brother." I didn't want to hit him yet. Just hear if he ever did care about the kid.

"So? He might be but-" I cut him off by handing him Pony's letter. He put his beer down and read the letter. When he finished- get this- he rolled his eyes.

"The kid always had a flare for the dramatics." My jaw dropped.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Darry looked a little scared because he knew what I was going to do to him.

"He could be hurt! All because of you! All because you became an alcoholic! You know how stupid you are?! He. Is. Your. Little. Brother. I don't think that I can make that any clearer. And you know what sucks?! He still loves you. He really does love you still. Even though you refuse to see that. Now, I would advise you to get your sorry ass out of this door, and never take another drink of beer again. Because if you do, what happens next? You abuse Soda? I won't take that. So get up now, and you are going to find Pony and make up with him." He looked at me, like he actually cared. He nodded and got up.

Maybe I was getting through to him, without hitting him. Hmm. How ironic.

Darry's POV

I sat next to Dally in the car. I held Pony's letter in my hand. I felt caught between two worlds. After Soda left, I thought it was Pony's fault.

So I started telling myself that every day. And drinking. That didn't make a good mix. I could hardly remember the first day I beat him. But he was probably sore afterwards.

Flashback

I had just gotten home from work. I was angry, because I had thought about nothing but Soda the whole time, and almost fell off the roof.

Pony was looking through the fridge, looking for something to eat. He's still so small. He still has his blond hair, but it's streaked with red and brown.

"Darry, what do you want for dinner?" His eyes where bloodshot, and puffy, from crying and not sleeping.

"Damn, I don't know, anything's fine." He gave me a worried look when I swore. God that kid has got to grow up.

"Okay." He put something in the over and started putting it to the right tempature .

Something inside of me snapped. I looked at his report card, and saw a C+. I do everything to make sure that this kid gets good grades. I have to work, just for him. So did Soda. And now he's at war, and Pony just selfishly doesn't care.

"Are you kidding me Pony?" I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. He knew what was coming. I could see it on his face.

"I do everything I can for you, and this is how you use it?" He tried to say something but I punched him across the jaw. Hurt and fear registered across his face.

"Darry you just-" I cut him off but sending a blow to his stomach. He doubled over in pain, and I kept the blows raining, until I got tired, and left him lying on the kitchen floor.

End of Flashback

I started to cry. I think. My head was messed up from the beer, and thinking of all the wrong things I did to Pony. He'll never forgive me. Never. Never in a million years. And even if he does, I won't forgive myself.


	12. Chapter 12

1 I fell asleep on the train. Bad idea. Very bad idea. I could of missed my stop.

But luckily, I didn't. I woke up just before they called for the train stop in Connecticut. I rubbed my eyes, and grabbed my bag. I looked in the window, and saw how swallow my face was. Plus with my black and blue cheek, and a gash on my forehead, which was thankfully, covered by my hat, I really did look like some runaway kid.

I got up, and noticed that I was the only person left on the train. Probably because they had all gotten off already, or where let off at different stops. So I got up and rushed out the door, not wanting to be stuck on the train. I pulled my hat down farther, not wanting anyone to see my face. Just in case.

I followed the same direction that everyone else seemed to be doing. I walked up a flight of stairs, and then I noticed, that this place is kinda like Tulsa. I saw a sign that said New Haven. New Haven, huh? I remember some new kid from my class last year who had transferred from New Haven. He was mean though. He jumped me once. He was a lot like the Socs, only he was greaser. I hoped that no one else would be like that here.

I walked out on the street, and noticed how city like it was. It was almost like New York. Well, I've never been to New York, but Dally always talked about it, and this is what I usually imagined.

I saw some kids walking on the streets. I decided to take my jacket off. It was really hot. I mean it was summer. So I took it off, leaving one of Soda's old flannel shirts my jeans, and my boots. I kept my hat on though.

Everything was so busy. People just ran across the street, not even waiting for the stoplight. I saw some drug dealers handing out drugs, I saw a mom carrying a little baby. She seemed pretty young though. Like nineteen.

I decided to sit down on a bus bench, and wait for the next bus to come. I still had enough money for a few other things. Like a bus ride, some food, and maybe a motel room for three weeks.

To keep me going I kept thinking of how I would succeed here. But first, I needed a job.

I started reading Gone With the Wind, when it was snatched out of my hands. I looked up, and saw some tough looking kids. City kids. Like Dally.

"Kid, this is our turf." I gulped when one ripped my hat off my head. Then they threw my bag to the ground.

"Any money kid?" I shook my head. But it didn't matter. I had my money stuffed inside the waistband of my pants. To get it, they would have to shove there hands down my pants.

"What a stupid question dude. Of course he doesn't have any money. Look at his clothes." Some of them snickered.

"Not like yours are any better." I meant for that one to stay in my head, but it came out.

"What did you say?" I gulped, and thought about running, but I didn't. I needed my stuff first. Then a large hand punched my jaw, and I swear I heard a crack. I whimpered a little, but that made the guy laugh.

"Hey you kids leave him alone!" A voice yelled out, and this caught the guys attention.

"Oh shit, it's him! Run!" They threw my stuff back at me, and ran off like the devil was after them.

"You okay kid?" I looked up and saw a handsome boy about Darry's age. I immediately flinched, noticing how tall the guy was. But he wasn't as muscular as Darry.

"I'm fine. Thanks." I gave him a small smile, and pulled my heat over my face. I gathered my stuff together, and checked to make sure I had everything. He sat down next to me.

"What's your name? And don't lie because I know you're running away." I tensed up and looked over at him. He looked serious. But he grinned at my face, like it was a funny joke that I was scared.

"I'm not gonna turn you in kid. We get a lot of guys coming through every day. And I don't think you ran away for superficial reasons right? My guess would be child abuse." God, did this guy know everything? I raised an eyebrow.

"Your cheek. It's swollen. But just a guess. Am I right?" I nodded. He gave a short nod back, understanding.

"Who was it? Mom or dad?"

"Neither." He seemed puzzled by this.

"My parents died. It was my oldest brother." He nodded. I just couldn't get why I was telling this guy everything. I hardly knew him. But he reminded me of Sodapop. He was so handsome, and he had that way with him, that just lets you know that he understands. He just seemed like a cool guy.

"So, what's your name, kid? Or do you want me to keep calling you kid?" I even smiled this time.

"Ponyboy Curtis." He seemed blown away by my name.

"Ponyboy, huh? That's interesting." I nodded.

"What's yours?"

"Thomas Williams."

"Nice to meet you Thomas." I stuck my hand out, and he shook it.

"Nice to meet you too Ponyboy."

"Pony, you know where you're going?"

"Well, I have some money, but I don't have any family that lives out here." Thomas thought about it for a minute.

"Would you like to come stay with me and my crew for awhile? You get a job too." Now this was great.

"Yeah, sure." We got up, and I followed him to a big building. I just hoped that it wasn't all to good to be true.

Soda's POV

Dally thought of something, I never would of thought of. What if Pony never did run away? What fi some Soc got him, or what if he was kidnaped. This just made me cry harder. Darry scolded Dally. Darry was finally sinking into his role of being the protective older brother again.

"I say we go look for him, just in case." Dally side glanced at me. I knew everyone was sick of me crying. But I loved Ponyboy more than anything. I just wanted him to come back.

"But someone should stay here though, just in case he calls." I decided to stay here if he called. I wanted to talk to him. Convince him into coming home.

"Darry, what are we going to do?" I tried whispering to him, so no one else would here us. I saw a guilty look flash over his face. He pulled me into a hug, and I vaguely wondered how many times these arms and hands had been used to hurt Pony.

"Soda, I promise, we'll find him, and try to get him home." He said 'try' because we knew how stubborn Pony could be when he wanted to be.

"Like you actually care." Steve really didn't like the fact that Darry had the guts to come back, after everything he had did.

"Butt out of it Steve." Darry was trying hard not to lose his temper.

"No! If he does come back, I don't want him staying here. I'm not letting you hit him again. Soda probably shouldn't stay here either." Steve really did care about us. I wondered when he had stopped hating Pony so much, and started caring about him.

"Steve, they are my little brothers-" Steve cut him off.

"Really? They are? Because the last time I checked, you seemed to hate one of them." I wasn't sure who's side I was on. Steve's or Darry's. Darry was trying to changed. But after all he did Pony, Pony and I will never forgive him.

Steve, was probably the winning side. He was protecting us. He had been protecting Pony all these months. But he didn't believe that Darry could turn himself around.

"Steve, let's talk about this later." He looked me in the eye and nodded, then sat down. Dally quickly took charge, stating the obvious of how much he cared about Pony and his safety.

"Darry, you and I will check out the Soc territory. Steve, Two-bit, and Johnny, you guys check out the park. And Johnny, you were his closet friend, so think of other places he might be. If he doesn't call or anything, and we can't find him for twenty-four hours, than we will have to report him missing, and then it will turn into a real case." My stomach turned to ice, just thinking about Pony never being found.

"Okay, lets go." Everyone got up to leave. I sat and pulled the phone right next to me, hoping that Pony would call soon.


	13. Chapter 13

1 Okay, Thomas is pretty rich. He wasn't like top Soc rich, but pretty close. He had two kids, and was happily married. His son seemed nice. I met him before I met his daughter.

His son, David, was real nice. He taught me how to play checkers, which I immediately sucked at. Then his daughter, Mary, showed up. Okay, she was really pretty but I could already tell that she was bad news.

She was dressed in head to toe black. But her hair was platinum blond. Her searing gray eyes could cut steel, like how they ripped right threw me. She gave me an evil look, and stormed off to her bedroom.

"Don't mind her dear, she's thirteen. She's going through one of those phases." Thomas's wife, Sharon, set down a plate of crackers in front of me and David. She must of noticed how scrawny I was. You could practically see my ribs through my T-shirt. Well, one of Darry's old T-shirts. I sat up straight.

Oh my God, I forgot to call them! What the hell is wrong with me?! I never do use my head! They're probably freaking out! But I kept my cool and turned to Sharon.

"Mrs.- I mean Sharon- where's the phone? I need to call someone." She told me that it was in the kitchen. I entered the kitchen, and realized how rich they really where. Fancy tile work, the latest kitchen were, pots stoves, etc., etc.

I saw the phone, I rung up the number. It rang, and rang. Then someone picked up.

"Pony, Pony? Is that you? Please tell me that it's you!" I heard Soda crying on the other side of the phone. My heart squeezed.

"Yeah Soda, it's me. I'm fine." He sobbed into the phone. I couldn't tell if they were tears of happiness because I was okay, or because he missed me.

"Pony, baby, I'm so sorry. Please you need to come back." okay, did he get my letter? I thought he would of understood. I just couldn't go back. Even with how hard Soda cried.

"Soda I love you, but I can't." Soda's sobs quieted, and I knew he was gonna start getting frustrated.

"But Pony, we need you."

"No. You all have each other. I just can't go back right now. Not now. Please Soda, you can't make me go back there. Please." I was begging him.

"No you don't."

"No I don't what?"

"You don't love me if you're going to stay where ever the hell you are and be all selfish about it!" My eyes filled with tears. Soda had never been that harsh with me before. Hot tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"Pony. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I wanted to believe him. But I was sick of being let down, and still trying to make those people happy. I was sick of being called selfish, even though I was just trying to do the right thing for myself.

"Yes you did. And I don't care either. You're my brother and I love you, but you don't need me. I'll come back when I'm ready. Bye." My voice sounded harsh. I heard Soda scream wait in the phone, and I had to make a decision. Stay on the phone, or hang up forever? I stayed on.

"What?! I'm not coming back Soda. I thought you would of understood why! You didn't have to take Darry's mental and physical abuse for months on end! I did. I took every punch and every word he said to me. And I couldn't fight back because he's my brother! Do you understand that?! I don't trust him anymore. At all." I noticed Mary standing in the door way, wide eyed.

"Pony I'm sorry okay. But just come home and I'll protect you okay-" I cut him off.

"You aren't listening to me! I can't go home Soda. Please. You're making it hurt more. I just... I just can't!" I hung up the phone, and I tried not to cry. Not in front of Mary.

"Sorry I was eavesdropping." Her voice is as light as a feather. I would of thought it would of been harder, judging her appearance.

"It's alright."

"Is your brother's real name Soda?" She seemed amuse by this. She took a seat at the table. I sat down across from her.

"Sodapop."

"Okay, that's a cool name. I hate mine."

"Mary?"

"No. My real name is Maeve. But God, that is just so... I don't know." Maeve? Never heard that one before.

"I like that. If my parents had a girl I bet they would of named her that. They like original names." She looked my over. I couldn't tell if she disapproved or not. She had the same look as Dallas.

"These aren't my real parents, I was adopted." I felt sorry for her. At least I had grown up knowing I had my blood family. And if that fell apart I had the gang to fall on.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She shook her head, which made her platinum hair fall over face.

"I don't care. They must of been jerks to give me up. Or they just weren't ready." She spaced off, looking a little sad. My heart went out to her.

"So, what's your deal? Left because of a family situation?" She broke out of her daze, and was staring at me. Should I trust her? I'm gonna need someone to talk to who was gentler than a guy.

"Well..." I told her everything, starting with my parents death. She tried to understand, and I could tell she felt bad for me. But not in a pity sort of way. Like she really did understand kind of way.

Then she told me hers. She grew up with this family. She didn't have any friends besides David. She was smart, but she acted up in class so she only got B's instead of A's. She only had one boyfriend, who ended up in jail for something. She didn't want to tell me. She never heard from her family. She never even knew who they were.

But she even said her problems were nothing to mine.

"I wouldn't go back either. I don't think I would even think I would get over? Do you have any scars?" I lifted my shirt slightly, and showed her my jagged scar from one of Darry's beatings that had turned very, very violent.

"Jerk. I would never go back. Ever."

"Mary!" Sharon's voice rang through out the house.

"One minute!" A thought skipped through my mind.

"Where did you get Mary from Maeve?"

"Oh, well I'm naturally Irish, so I used there language to translate Maeve and out came Mary. Which in Spanish is Maria. But I liked Mary better."

"I like Maeve."

"Don't start calling me that." She seemed serious, so I agreed.

"Night."

"Night." She walked out and down a hallway to her bedroom. I thought she was cool. But only as a friend. Nothing more. I wasn't ready to trust anyone to much yet.

Sorry if that was boring. But I just needed to add Mary in because she gets pretty important later. And I know Maeve is a weird name, but it's mine, and I couldn't think of anything better. And Mary is not like me at all. Actually, definatly the opposite. But put up with me for now. I only have one or two more chapters left of this. And I'm still deciding if I want a sequel.

Review please! Tell me what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

1 Soda's POV

I hung the phone up, after what felt like an hour since Pony hung up on me. What did he mean? What do I not understand about this?

But then I had to tell myself that Pony thinks differently from Darry and I. He's way more sensitive than he lets onto, he loves to read, and he's always talking about colors or sunsets or something like that. But since everything happened, he probably didn't have anyone to talk to about that stuff. I immediately felt bad.

I wanted to call him, but I didn't have his phone number. I didn't know where he was, I didn't know if these people where good, or anything. Just the fact that he's still alive.

When the whole gang came back home they found me, sobbing. Steve was at my side in a second, followed by Darry.

"Soda, what's wrong? Did Pony call?" Steve cut to the chase, wanting to know if I knew if something bad had happened to Pony. All I did was nod.

"What did he say?" I swallowed the lump in my throat, and told them what happened. Except for the fact that he basically hates me now. But I old them that he was never coming back. Not until he was ready. Which meant never.

"But you don't know where he is?" Darry had stepped up to the plate, when Steve had shrunken away, clearly upset about Pony.

"No. He didn't say."

"And he didn't say when he was coming back?"

"Only when he's ready." Darry nodded, knowing that meant never too.

"But he isn't hurt?" That's the first thing that I heard that came out of Darry's mouth, that sounded like he actually cared about Pont.

"No. Well, he might of been, but he didn't say anything about it." Darry nodded, and stroked my hair, while I fell asleep.

That was the first night after six years that I had a nightmare.

Pony's POV

It was hard living with two women in the house. I was just so use to not having mom around for almost two years now, that I almost forgot how different they are. Like Sharon and Mary had all this extra makeup and junk for their faces in the bathroom. David laughed at me when I found some of Mary's pads, or whatever they're called.

I woke up the next morning, hearing rock and roll music. It was coming from Mary's room. I got up and peeked in her door, just wondering what she was up to.

She was writing something, while banging her head to the music. She only wore her nightgown, which made her look softer than her other clothes. But she still had black eyeliner on.

I walked away, and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I've been here for a week, and I'm already comfortable with this place. Everyone seems to want me, but Mary keeps pushing me away. She isn't mean to me. But she isn't nice to me. She notices that I'm here, but she ignores me. I wondered why.

I took my shirt off, and ran my hands over my damaged torso. My stomach sunk in, leaving my ribs poking out. The skin over my ribs was black, blue and purple. My stomach looked a little yellow. But I was slowly starting to heal. Since I've been eating actual meals, my stomach was looking better than before. Plus I wasn't as depressed as I use to be. Being around happy people, and not being hit or sworn at every time I turned around helped.

I wanted it to stay like this. For a long time. But I had to go back sooner or later.

But I had to live my life the right way first.

Darry's POV

Soda thought that I should joining rehab. But I said no. I was going to fix myself by myself. So I threw out all my beers and drugs, and forced myself not to break down. So I though of Soda and Pony. Mostly Soda, because every time I thought of Pony, my heart sank, and I felt guilty. So I thought of Soda, and how much he needed me right now, and then if I did want to think of Pony, I thought of how much I wanted him back, and that this would help.

I would do whatever it would take to get him back. I love him. I will do anything to get him back.

Anything.

The End.

Sequel on the way. Oh, and sorry it was short. I just really needed to finish this story, so I could start writing the sequel.


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